Friday, February 21, 2014


Be careful who you ask to pray for you. You must be selective. Why? Because while people mean well, many, many people have NO POWER in their prayers. They're just mumbling mere words and they don’t believe what they are really praying themselves; therefore, when they go before God with your request, they are ineffective, can’t get a prayer through and it falls on deaf ears. God isn’t looking at what we do, how we look, the fact that we are intellectual and can quote scripture. He is looking at our hearts. Don’t believe me? Well, maybe you will believe 1 Samuel 16:7 OR try 1 Peter 3:3-4 OR what about Matthew 5:8? Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart (Proverbs 21:2, ESV).

Merriam-Webster’s definition of discernment says, “the ability to see and understand people, things, or situations clearly and intelligently.” 1 John 4:1 says, “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world (ESV).

So, what’s my point? My point is that we must all DISCERN false prophets from those who live in TRUTH. Therefore, when you ask for prayer, ask the Lord to point you to those people who have POWER in their prayers. Ask the Lord to point you to those people who not just mean well, but whose hearts are pure and ask Him to show you those who BELIEVE what they say. It only takes one.

Monday, December 30, 2013

The greatest of these is LOVE...

Like many people, I could express the beautiful gifts received on Christmas day; however, I’ve learned that it is not about monetary gifts, the value one has spent on purchasing gifts or even the abundance of the gifts received. That stuff comes and goes and in a year or so, will be obsolete, old, useless and probably broken anyway. My special Christmas gift this year is having both of my daughters at home. For years, it was just my daughters and me. They were my road dogs, my doll babies, my joy and sometimes my headache. I’ve nurtured them, loved on them but when the time came, I had to let them go.

Just two days ago, my daughters called me in the bedroom and told me of a discussion they had with each other… as sisters often do. They shared with me how the one thing I demonstrated for them was Love. They told me that they grew strong in loving people because they always witnessed me loving them (even when they were getting yelled at) and as a result, they now share with everyone; particularly, those close to their hearts, the words, “I love you.” They also reminded me of a situation when they were in middle school of being teased by a few children because each time my girls saw each other in the hallways, they would hug, kiss and say to each other, “I love you.”

Well, my daughters are back together again loving on each other, but just for a short season as my Brittany will have to leave soon and return to her military base in Guam. While often times I think this country doesn’t deserve her ~ equally my thoughts tell me that because she is love and represents love, perhaps SHE is exactly what this country needs.

So… while we all marvel at the gifts, attempt to decipher the instructions on our new gadgets, spend those gifts cards on the 75% off sales … remember what is really important in life. In my life that would be LOVE. I don’t know about you, but for me, without LOVE my life is not worth living.

Three things will last forever--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13, NLT)

Saturday, December 14, 2013

The Gift of Love...

Our gift to the world is the capacity to love, forgive and to see all people as wonderfully created. While this isn't always easy, we recognize that when you're given something, you must "give back." We choose to give to all of God's people and to each other love ... demonstrated through action not just words. Give the gift of LOVE ~ not just for the holidays, but all year will look good on you.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Self Love ...

Self-reflection (in my opinion) is a term that I use to help motivate me to move toward the next course of action in my life among a few other things. This is a very difficult albeit cleansing task to perform because it requires complete and honest examination of self. What I’ve discovered, or I should say have confirmed is that I love me. Loving MYSELF motivates me to help others love THEMSELVES and while I am far from perfect, I can boldly state that I am perfectly made.

As I continue to speak to people, pray for and with people, counsel, study and become involved in intimate relationships, it is clear to me that people don’t love themselves. They have no clue about what self-love really is, what it means and how to go about truly and sincerely loving who they are. How do I know this? Well, I’ve watched the imitators, I’ve stood beside the copycats and I’ve grieved for those who somehow cannot appreciate the authentic nature within their very own creation. I’ve viewed their constant turmoil and despondency. I’ve watch them examine over and over and over again their feelings of extreme sadness, guilt, helplessness and hopelessness without resolve.

I’ve been alongside those experiencing a drastic decline in their state of being ~ only to be replaced by a temporary “self-love” which ultimately results in their inability to sustain this false melancholic condition. We look to our spouses, our children, our jobs and ministries; we look to others who themselves struggle to define self-love. We look to this evil world and the people within it to love us when all along self-love begins with truly believing how worthy, valuable and great you are.

Self-love is demonstrated when you are kind to yourself, when you do the things that contribute to a healthy mind, body and spirit and when you stop looking to others to love you when quite frankly, some just aren’t equipped to love you. Self-love is also demonstrated when you can look at yourself with compassion, and under a microscope. Self-love allows mistakes and imperfections while embracing the fact that even in those imperfections lies something beautiful and marvelous. Self-love is a willful and conscious act that says, “no matter what happens, who hurts me, who rejects me and who betrays me, I REFUSE to define my love for self in someone else’s love for me.” Too much self-love, on the other hand can result in an off-putting sense of entitlement and an inability to learn from failures, so part of the task is finding the balance.

Finally, self-love defies all thoughts and opinions of those who just don’t matter or contribute in a healthy and consistent way in your life. Who do you think you are anyway that everyone should love you and furthermore, how did your pride, ego and arrogance become so great that despite the fact that not everyone loved even JESUS (a perfect man), you STILL believe they ought to love you? Get over yourself immediately! On your best day, you still can't hold a candle to Jesus.

Recognize that you were made as a result of love. Your job is to believe in it, and embrace it. Then start treating yourself with the loving kindness that you deserve. Love already takes up residence within you so it is unfair to yourself and others that you continue to make others responsible for loving you.

Opinions and thoughts are my own. I apologize for none of it.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Needy People

Needy people as described by:

Merriam-Webster: Not having enough money, food, etc., to live properly, needing a lot of attention, affection, or emotional support.

Reverso: In need of practical or emotional support; distressed.

Urban dictionary: To be needy is a guy who needs attention no matter what the cost. A person that doesn’t have much confidence and will bug the living shit out of you just for a little attention.

Psychological definition: Failing to realize or recognize that they are needy because of both an ignorance of their personality, and because their “rocks” are afraid of hurting their feelings by reclaiming independence. “Rocks” here means: someone to lean on, a source of comfort.

My definition: Those who dismiss and/or lose all sensibilities and respect for others time. Lack of consideration for others. Selfish, arrogant and borderline narcissistic personality—meaning: an overwhelming need for admiration, and usually a complete lack of empathy toward others. People with this disorder often believe they are of primary importance in everybody’s life or to anyone they meet. They can be difficult and defensive. Minimal and/or lack of degree of insight as to their intrusive nature.

Let me first be clear! I am in no way referring to people who are needy as a result of social injustice, discrimination and those who suffer from absolute poverty or destitution regarding the deprivation of basic human needs. I am referring to people who reach for others as their end-all.

These people hurt, are angry, are desperate, and are constantly seeking answers, doing the research, studying and tearing everything up and down in order to find relief. They are also debaters because they don’t agree with what is said. Sadly, there is no relief, because the more they tear down, dissect and discover something new, the more they NEED to find more. It wears people out. It causes people to back away. It causes the needy person to lose friends, relationships and most of all; it causes a perpetual cycle of the sickness that has already hooked its roots in their souls.

Needy people don’t care about your time, your commitments or the fact that every moment in time may not be about them. They will pull on you, grab on you, and take hold of you if you give them a window. Like toxins… it finds an open hole and it seeps in like a bad disease. That’s what needy people do. They can’t help it. They lack something vital in their lives and with every person they pull on, their hope is that they will find their cure, be delivered and they will be free. Concept of time is not their friend. They have none. If you give them a moment, expect to give away an hour… or two.

The one thing we all NEED is Christ. He is the only person who can fill the void, give you all the time in the world and who won’t dismiss your arrogance and selfishness. He’ll allow you to talk with Him all day and night and will soothe your pain, comfort your soul and calm your spirit. You’ve been searching for so long--- in all the wrong places—when in reality, what you needed all along was right in front of you.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Did you consider?

Did you consider the single mother who just lost her job?
Did you consider the man who can’t find a job?
Did you consider the child who is bullied in school?
Did you consider the patient who has no family visiting?
Did you consider the foster child that no one wants to permanently adopt?
Did you consider the widow who never gets invited anywhere?

Did you consider the boasting you just did to the person who can’t afford food?
Did you consider that the sweater he/she wears is the only “coat” he/she has?
Did you consider the family that is being evicted tomorrow?
Did you consider that she’s not fat because she wants to be, but instead has a health issue?
Did you consider that he has mental health issues as a result of serving in active duty to protect you?
Did you consider that behind his smile is a body filled with debilitating pain?

Did you consider that she didn’t speak to you because she honestly did not see you?
Did you consider anyone else today other than yourself, your situation, your problems, your events, your issues, your self-serving concerns and that this world does not revolve around you?
Did you consider that what you do on the outside only matters to the world… it’s what takes up residence within your heart that really matters?

About vicTORIous

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I am a free spirit and an extreme realist. With God, I've encountered strength that I never knew was possible.