Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Self Love ...

Self-reflection (in my opinion) is a term that I use to help motivate me to move toward the next course of action in my life among a few other things. This is a very difficult albeit cleansing task to perform because it requires complete and honest examination of self. What I’ve discovered, or I should say have confirmed is that I love me. Loving MYSELF motivates me to help others love THEMSELVES and while I am far from perfect, I can boldly state that I am perfectly made.

As I continue to speak to people, pray for and with people, counsel, study and become involved in intimate relationships, it is clear to me that people don’t love themselves. They have no clue about what self-love really is, what it means and how to go about truly and sincerely loving who they are. How do I know this? Well, I’ve watched the imitators, I’ve stood beside the copycats and I’ve grieved for those who somehow cannot appreciate the authentic nature within their very own creation. I’ve viewed their constant turmoil and despondency. I’ve watch them examine over and over and over again their feelings of extreme sadness, guilt, helplessness and hopelessness without resolve.

I’ve been alongside those experiencing a drastic decline in their state of being ~ only to be replaced by a temporary “self-love” which ultimately results in their inability to sustain this false melancholic condition. We look to our spouses, our children, our jobs and ministries; we look to others who themselves struggle to define self-love. We look to this evil world and the people within it to love us when all along self-love begins with truly believing how worthy, valuable and great you are.

Self-love is demonstrated when you are kind to yourself, when you do the things that contribute to a healthy mind, body and spirit and when you stop looking to others to love you when quite frankly, some just aren’t equipped to love you. Self-love is also demonstrated when you can look at yourself with compassion, and under a microscope. Self-love allows mistakes and imperfections while embracing the fact that even in those imperfections lies something beautiful and marvelous. Self-love is a willful and conscious act that says, “no matter what happens, who hurts me, who rejects me and who betrays me, I REFUSE to define my love for self in someone else’s love for me.” Too much self-love, on the other hand can result in an off-putting sense of entitlement and an inability to learn from failures, so part of the task is finding the balance.

Finally, self-love defies all thoughts and opinions of those who just don’t matter or contribute in a healthy and consistent way in your life. Who do you think you are anyway that everyone should love you and furthermore, how did your pride, ego and arrogance become so great that despite the fact that not everyone loved even JESUS (a perfect man), you STILL believe they ought to love you? Get over yourself immediately! On your best day, you still can't hold a candle to Jesus.

Recognize that you were made as a result of love. Your job is to believe in it, and embrace it. Then start treating yourself with the loving kindness that you deserve. Love already takes up residence within you so it is unfair to yourself and others that you continue to make others responsible for loving you.

Opinions and thoughts are my own. I apologize for none of it.


  1. Forward-Forward-and FORWARD!!!!!!!!


  2. Tori, your thoughts are DEEP! Every single time I read something from you, I think to myself, "what a waste that Tori hasn't put this stuff in book form." Consider it Tori. Your mind/thoughts are compelling!

    Sincerely.... you know exactly who this is from. :)

  3. I have some work to do.

  4. This post just moved to my # 1 spot.

    Lu-Jean Fang Clinic

  5. Perfect words for a friend who needs to read this. Thank you for making this clear.

    Gayle B.

  6. Thank you all for your comments. It's my personal experience and people who move me toward my perfect self expression. You all have this gift too--- don't let it go to waste.

  7. I had to read this AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN. You hit with the perfect punch.


About vicTORIous

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I am a free spirit and an extreme realist. With God, I've encountered strength that I never knew was possible.