Why me???

The more I talk to people, the more I hear the words, “why me?” Why me tells me a few things. First, it tells me that people are suffering and are in pain. They want to know why out of 10 billion people on planet earth, they were the ones chosen to deal with such pain.

Secondly, when people ask, “why me” it tells me that people are in a state of feeling sorry for themselves. They’ve past the point of motivation, and perseverance and all they want are answers. But none of us are in positions to really tell someone the answers to their “why me?” We can help them reflect back on their lives, deal with their pain of the past and point them toward the truth, but the only person who has the answer is God.

I was in a place a long time ago where I would ask, “why me?” I was so very pathetic. I felt sorry for myself and was angry at God for giving me a life filled with people who hurt me, deceived me, conned me, lied to me and abandoned me.

Furthermore, I was taught “do unto others as you would have people do unto you.” So why all the pain? It made no sense to me and as far as I was concerned, the scriptures were a lie and that line was some pious attempt to get me do right!

It wasn’t until my brother Arnold, who died of cancer said to me, “Tori, I don’t ask, “why me,” I ask, “why not me?” My brother suffered from pancreatic cancer that spread to his lungs. Even while dying, he encouraged me and made me see that life is never about us. When he said, “Why not me,” he was saying, “who are we to question what God has allowed?" But I was too blinded over the fact that my brother was dying. I couldn't comprehend.

Years later, I got it! Years later, my “why me” turned into “use me.” You see, Rick Warren, says, “Other people are going to find healing in your wounds. Your greatest life messages and your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts. So, you will never, ever, ever, hear me say, “why me?” Instead “use me.”

If my pain can help heal a broken heart, restore faith in a fractured marriage, offer hope, encouragement, lift and help give life to a situation that was dead years, ago, use me! I’m a willing vessel. I now know that it’s not about me….my story is for someone else. Your story is too. So instead of asking, “Why me,” ask yourself, “why not me?” Prayerfully, you’ll arrive at the place where you will say, “Use me.”

STOP

Driving home from work this evening was surely an “Aha” moment. I happen to be one of those commuters that no matter which route I take from my workplace, there is a ton of traffic. This time, instead of becoming impatient with the traffic, I decided to adjust my radio to a louder volume and enjoy the ride. Somewhere along my route, a car pulled in front of me. It was one of those driving school cars with the name of the school properly propped up for advertising purposes. I didn’t pay too much attention as I was busy deciphering the skills of the new driver. Beside the driver was the instructor who must have motioned to make a right turn into a shopping center. I was at a light and was once again able to notice the skills (or lack thereof) of this driver. The driver approached a stop sign and came to a complete stop. He then put on his left turn signal and made a left turn.

As my light turned green for me to proceed, I did so wondering if the instructor was growing impatient with the driver for coming to a complete stop. I mean, after all, it was past 5:00 p.m. and this instructor probably wanted to go home right? I even laughed silently as I imagined the instructor thinking out loud, “come on kid, just ease up to the stop sign and proceed slowly…no one ever really stops!” I also imagined him thinking, “If you stop, that is a second or two that is a pure waste of my time.” Imagine that?

How many times do we just proceed when we should stop and look both ways? Imagine the number of times we could have saved ourselves from a ton of pain and hardship, had we just stopped and looked both ways? The signs of life are there for a reason. Our signs can come in the form of a person, a word or song, but we rush right through them believing that the danger that lies ahead is for the other person, not us. While this young driver had an instructor coaching him to make the right decisions, informing him when he made the wrong ones and explaining why he should always stop and look both ways, I wonder if we have these kinds of people in our own lives or are we rushing through life, never looking both ways and never willing to listen to correction.

I’ve learned the hard way that if we want to get to our destinations sane, whole and healthy, we will have to sometimes come to a complete stop and look both ways. We may also require correction and discipline and while it may take an extra second or two to get to where we are headed, the end result might just save our lives.

Eyes wide shut...

As I headed out the door for lunch on this unseasonable warm yet fall afternoon, I smelled the fresh fragrance of pine. I didn’t think anything unusual except maybe someone had just cleaned something, but as I walked closer to the door leading to the outside of my office, I see workers moving about. That’s when I noticed that these men had just put up our office Christmas tree. Just briefly, I thought, “So, that’s what’s different...it’s the tree,” but I moved about my business anyway.

The experience in my office lobby was quite different when I returned from lunch. I had an opportunity to really look at the massive tree that stood directly in front of me. It has to be 12 feet high. It’s beautifully decorated with lights and again the smell overwhelms the lobby area. I thought, “How could I have missed something so big and so beautiful” and began to wonder about my own life, thoughts and what is occupying my time. I also began to think about the number of times something so great is right before me, yet I miss the beauty of it because I am absorbed with self.

Overwhelmed by my inability to acknowledge something that stood so mightily, I decided to share my thoughts about this with a co-worker. She didn’t notice it either! So I ask…”have we become a walking community of people with eyes closed so tightly while we focus on our own business, that we can’t see what’s directly in front of us?” Her experience was further confirmation that we on a daily basis miss opportunities, blessings, second chances and maybe even love because we are walking with closed hearts, closed minds and closed eyes.

I’m not sure about you, but this experience was a lesson for me to always consider how I walk. I want to walk upright, Godly ~ appreciating all of His beauty. I do not want to be consumed with my own stuff, and my own thoughts….I may miss something. The reality is ~ there is something great within all of our reach, but we have to get out of our own darkness and be willing to open up our hearts, minds and eyes.

Enjoy the BEAUTY of this tree that I almost missed!

Alone Again....Naturally

It’s funny, that alone thing. Some see it as a nice retreat, away from the hustle and bustle or a comforting place where no one else can enter. Depending on how you view being alone, it can be therapeutic and a place to re-energize. Even Jesus left the people every now and then to get away and re-energize. But for some, being alone is a private hell. You’re left alone with your thoughts, your failures, what you’ve lost and all of the disappointments of life. For some, it’s torture, a cycle of confusion and sadly, a place that after time, brings a sick comfort because you’ve made being alone a routine and a habit. The simple but straight truth is that we are not meant to be alone. We’re built for relationships and for whatever the reasons are that one might feel more comfort in being alone most of the time than being in relationship means that one’s soul is crying. It means that your distorted view of what might feel natural is actually very unnatural. It also means that there is pain that is so deeply rooted that you’ve lost all connectivity to the one who can restore you.

Even in our most primal state (being an infant) one cannot survive without the love and touch from others. This is the way we are made. We all have an innate sense of needing to belong and relating to someone or something, but when we're alone, there is nothing but a false existence, hungry for relationship. Even still, with the hunger pangs so explosive and so desperate, some carry with them this sense of arrogance and pride that they simply do not need anyone or anything and that they can do it all by themselves. I’m here to say, no you can’t. Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him. (Prov. 26:12, ESV) I’m here to say that pride and arrogance is one of the highest forms of sin because it deliberately blocks God and intentionally shuts Him out! Oh how that can bring about a wrath that no man can withstand.

I'm here to say that the fortress you've built is exactly where satan wants you to be. You see, he wants you to be alone. He wants you to live this life without your armor of God, and he's happy to convince you that you don't need people. He loves your fortress because he knows that you've blocked out all of the people who can help you tear it down...even God. The bible is clear when it says, “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.” (Prov. 18:1, ESV). So I caution you, when you get hooked on satan's hook, some things will not be reversed. It will be your life-long existence.

Like isolation and insulation should never be a consolation...Alone again…Naturally, is not natural.

Partner Up!

Statement: You've got a problem with personal accountability.
Reply: Well, whose fault is that?

What is Accountability?
~ Accountability is a divine principle
~ Accountability is God’s protection of his children

What does Accountability do?
~ Develops within us a sense of responsibility
~ Promotes integrity
~ Guards us against turning our freedom into doing something wrong
~ Sharpens our skills
~ Promotes a healthy self-examination
~ Protects us from unwise relationships
~ Promotes a Godly attitude and Godly spirit

What is an Accountability Partner?
~ One who is walking in the spirit
~ One who is trustworthy with your confidence
~ One who has Godly wisdom based on spiritual principles
~ One who gives you the freedom to be yourself
~ One who has the courage to confront you
~ One must be forgiving toward you
~ One who is an encourager
~ One who is a good listener
~ One who is sensitive to your feelings
~ One who has your best interest at heart

Reasons people avoid being accountable:
~ Ignorant
~ Fear of exposure
~ Fear of rejection
~ Arrogant, pride and they feel self-sufficient
~ They know they are doing something wrong

Not knowing is one thing...knowing is another. Partner Up!

West Philly Woman

Street lights, row homes, hopscotch, West Philly…
Clothes lines, alley ways, barking dogs, West Philly…
Corner stores, big cars, jumping jacks, West Philly…
Barbeques, Motown, Marvin Gaye, West Philly…
Bobo’s, Ked's, Converse, West Philly…
Sewer holes, front porches, stray cats, West Philly…
Caring neighbors, lots of kids, Mister Softee, West Philly…
Mustard pretzels, Maryjane's, shoe strings, West Philly…
Scraped knees, dodge ball, water plugs, West Philly…
Paddy wagons, lightning bugs, house flies, West Philly...
Green Trolley’s, Septa busses, small streets, West Philly…
Born & raised, home grown, handpicked from West Philly…
Mad love, much respect, and Big Up’s for West Philly…

I AM~

I am NOTHING and I am EVERYTHING. You say, “How can one be NOTHING and at the same time be EVERYTHING?” Let me explain ~ I am Nothing without God and Everything with Him. Who are you?